We've hit some kind of phase in life with Ava. I don't want to label it but I have in a sense mentally labeled it. Over the past several weeks I have found myself looking at Jason (at least daily) and saying "I just don't want to raise a brat."
Y'all know what I am talking about. We have all encountered "those" kids. Heck, we were all probably "that" kid at some point in our lives. And so we are being tested daily on our parenting skills, which let's be honest, after 2.5 years, and only one child, Jason and I are still rookies. I think every parent is a rookie -- in every season, with every child. Am I right? No child is the same? And no season is the same? Shew.
And every time I speak that statement to Jason, I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit. Really, if we're being honest, it's because I am often a brat toward the Holy Spirit. Not as much as I used to be, but there is something God does to the heart of a parent (if we allow it) about seeing our parental relationship with our children, in light of His parental relationship with us. And let me tell you, it can be a hard pill to swallow.
Here's a picture from this morning. It's pretty much perfect to me. My beautiful daughter and our sweet pup Charlie girl. Yes, we are in a John Deere Gator. Yes, we are on a farm. Yes, I have a daughter and yes, Charlie is a chocolate lab. My explaining this will all make sense in a second, so hang with me.
As I was driving these two around the farm this morning the Lord reminded me of the me from 2000-2001. Yes, I can still remember getting my acceptance letter to UNC-CH. I can still remember saying I would never marry a farmer. And I can still remember saying I would never move back to my home town.
And then God quickly reminded me of the me from 2006. The me that said I only wanted a boy for a child.
And then God quickly reminded me again of the me from 2008. The me that said I didn't want any children at all.
And then God quickly reminded me of the me from 2010. The me that was dating a lawyer and wanted a life and weekends centered around UNC sporting events. The me that wanted a fancy life. The me that looked down on people who live the way I live now.
And then God quickly reminded me of the me from 2020. The me that told my husband I didn't want a chocolate lab. And the me that got irritated when said husband gifted our daughter with a chocolate lab.
And after the span of a 10 minute gator ride, where the Lord showed me bratty season after bratty season, I found myself pushing my sweet daughter on my husband's grandmother's swing set. And the Holy Spirit dropped this in my spirit while I pushed her in the swing. "All of those times you were a brat. Yes, a brat. All of those times you were a brat and prejudice to the blessing I had for you; All of those prayers you heard "no" to and didn't think I cared; all of those times of disappointment; I was just placing you in the corner so you could have time to refocus and readjust your mind towards me and the blessings I had for you."
See, sometimes a "no" from God is just His way of sitting us in "time-out" so that we can get out of our own way.
It's so easy to be prejudice to the very thing that is meant to be a blessing to you. I am so thankful for the "time-out's" in my life. I am so thankful for the "no" seasons in my life. Without them, I wouldn't be living the life I never wanted -- that's right. This wasn't the life I had envisioned for myself. This wasn't the life I wanted. And yet, it's so perfect and so truly wonderful and the very thought of not living this life the way I am now, makes my Spirit grieve.
So why wasn't this the life I wanted? Because I was a Brat. Because I was living a life out of sync and out of relationship with God. When we are walking out of sync with the Spirit of God, our desires are not His desires. And when we are walking out of sync with the Spirit of God, we cannot clearly see or understand God's vision for our lives. And when we walk out of sync with the Spirit of God we cannot walk into the blessing He has for us.
And so I want to share with you one of my most favorite Bible verses. Back in 2014 when the Lord really dealt with my bratty, disobedient heart, I heard 4 different preachers preach on this Bible verse with in a matter of months. And every time the Lord spoke to me.
Romans 12:1-2 New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
So many people want to know what God's perfect will is for their lives. And I want to encourage you today to sit yourself down in time-out if you need to and stop being a brat. Transform your mind. Renew our mind. Test God's will. Get yourself in sync with the Spirit of God -- without a God sync, your life will be spiritually bankrupt and even the brattiest of brats knows that that is no good.
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