About 4 weeks ago I was driving home from work and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me "Do you trust me?"
My initial response was "of course."
But then my mind started playing through every scenario possible. And it wasn't pretty.
Why was I asked that? What was going to happen? Was someone going to get sick? Was someone going to die? What exactly was the Holy Spirit preparing me for?
Because I can tell you, as a mom, my mind went to a bad place. And I can tell you, as a wife, my mind went to a bad place. And I can also tell you, as a daughter, my mind also went to a bad place.
And then I had to force myself to stop. Because The Holy Spirit doesn't come to scare us or frighten us, the Holy Spirit comes to bring us peace and power (Romans 15:13).
And so I simply said yes and continued on.
And as I began to sit on this question, the Lord really began to dig deep into my level of trust for Him. The question of trust started to become specific. And I would literally hear the Lord ask me these questions:
”Do you trust me with your child?"
"Do you trust me with your finances?"
"Do you trust me with your family?"
"Do you trust me with your prayers?"
"Do you trust me with my Word?"
"Do you trust me with your life?"
"Do you trust me for healing?"
"Do you trust me for miracles?"
"Do you trust me with the future?"
"Do you trust me that I'm in control?"
"Do you trust me no matter who wins the election?"
"Do you trust me that I'm bigger than a virus?"
"Do you trust me that I'm all knowing?"
"Do you trust me even when it doesn't look like you think it should?"
"Do you trust me even when it doesn't turn out like you thought it would?"
"Do you trust me even when the healing doesn't look like you prayed for?"
"Do you trust that you can still pray for healing even if it you don't see it happen?"
"Do you trust that I am good?"
"Do you trust that I am for you?"
"Do you trust me to supply your every need?"
"Do you trust me in all things?"
And while there were more, these are just a few of the questions I have heard over the course of the weeks following that first initial question: "Do you trust me?"
And it has really challenged me to evaluate the level and depth of trust I have with God.
Because I'll be honest with you, I've seen so much loss over the past few months. People gone. People I have cried out to the Lord for. Lives, healings and miracles I have believed and trusted God for and they just didn't happen the way I had believed and trusted for.
And through the loss, through the hurt, through the sorrow, I find it incredibly raw for God to come to me and ask me this question, wanting to know if I still trust him.
And so last Sunday I found myself standing in the home of a man that had passed away earlier that week. I had gone to Virginia to pray with this man in the hospital. And I had gone to his home to pray with him. Each time I prayed the Bible. I prayed God's promises. I prayed in the Spirit. I anointed him. I prayed believing and trusting the Lord to be faithful to His word. For God is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19) and the Bible says that we are to lay hands on the sick and they will recover (Mark 16:18). And every time I prayed for this man, the power of God touched him. So much so that he physically felt better. And I believed with my whole heart on the Word of God for this man to be healed. And he was. But it wasn't an earthly healing, it was an eternal healing.
And so as I stood in his home, with his grieving family, I looked at his wife and I said "I truly am so sorry. I would not have prayed the way I did if I truly did not believe that God would heal him."
And instantly as I released that statement I knew that it was a lie. Because I would. I would do it all over again. I would go to Virginia. I would go to his home. I would do as I have been instructed. I would pray believing. I would pray in the Spirit. I would still anoint the sick, and I would pray trusting, knowing that God's ways are higher than our ways and that God's understanding is higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9)
And I can tell you. Yes. I trust the Lord.
I trust Him with my life.
I trust Him with my child.
I trust Him with my prayers.
I trust Him to provide miracles.
I trust Him for the healings.
I trust Him with the future.
I trust Him because He is good.
Even through the loss, I trust Him.
And I don't know if you have something that's been weighing on you, but I want to encourage you, no matter how big or small, you can trust Him. The outcome may not always look like we think it should but God is good. His ways are above ours. He cares for us. He loves us. He is in control and it is our duty to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and petitions (Ephesians 6:18), trusting the Lord that His Word will never fail (Luke 1:37).
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